Literally…it doesn’t matter.
That expression means more than you think it does.
When you love yourself wholly and completely, it does not matter what the outside reflection is showing you. It does not matter if other people approve of your choices, decisions and way of life.
When you find the strength within to explore your reality without judgement of yourself or anyone else, it doesn’t matter how anyone else feels about it. Meaning, if someone else ridicules you in anyway, their opinions will not materialize in your life. Their opinions only materialize (matter) when you energetically believe them and accept them. Otherwise, how someone else feels about you and your choices is irrelevant, none of your business…let them think or believe whatever they want…don’t own it and it won’t own you.
I always say to my children when another child calls them a name or accuses them of something, “Well, is that you?”
And almost always they reply, “Well, no…”
And then I leave it with, “Okay, so it doesn’t matter what they say…only you need to know the truth of who you are.”
The trick with this understanding is to build a solid, foundation of self-love. This will bolster you when you experience the doubt or criticism of others.
And, a big part of learning to love yourself revolves around your ability to find out what your beliefs truly are….know thyself…this naturally moves you toward self-love.
A good starting point is finding and exploring your biggest fears. These are the filters that prevent you from truly receiving Joy, which is your true essence. What are you afraid of?
When you explore your inner fears…the ones that keep you up at night…the ones that tether you to limitation and prevent you from finding an overall peace…
When you explore those fears and then the belief systems that keep them in place, tied to unworthiness or lack….the ideas that your life must “look” a certain way for you to receive joy….and unravel them for what they are….
They are just beliefs …and beliefs are just “the thoughts that you keep thinking” (compliments of Esther Hicks and Abraham)… beliefs aren’t facts…you make them true or untrue for you based on your courage to step out of them….
You gradually expose them for what they are…the illusion…the Great Oz behind the curtain….
Why do you belief that you are limited? Why do you give away your power? Why must you defend yourself when you know someone is saying something that is not your truth? No one can tell you who you are but you. You create your reality. Why can’t you be at peace NOW, in this moment? What external items MUST you have, to hold onto your alignment? Where are you trying to CONTROL your life instead of ALLOWING it to unfold.
We are creator Gods living in physicality learning the truth of our soul through the idea that we are separate from the Creator, yet this could never be. There is no separation. Science has proven this. So, why do we hang onto fears and the underlying beliefs that keep us limited to unworthiness and lack …that prevent us from enjoying the moment? Why are we distracting ourselves with the outside trivialities, when the inside is all that matters?
Many of these beliefs systems that we have in place were passed down to us. They were never ours in the first place. We inherited them from a generation that was still exploring themselves and learning emotional maturity, as they did from their predecessors. These beliefs are inherent in tired expressions that we all know. “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”…”Life is hard and we must accept our lot in life”…”An eye for an eye”…”Get what is yours, before someone else does”…”Do your best to fit in”…”It’s a dark, scary world, so protect yourself”…”Don’t say it, because you may jinx yourself”…and my least favorite one…”You have to live in reality”….I say, “Oh really, since I am the creator of it, actually I don’t.”
The point is that if you don’t want to live in a box, sequestered to the opinions of others, find out who you are. When you know who you are, you know who you aren’t. This also makes you a highly unlikely target in the future of inheriting any belief systems that you don’t prefer. When you know and love yourself, it’s very difficult for someone else to upset you by their actions or words, because you say, “oh, that’s not me.” And go on your way with no need to defend or retaliate.
When you dig down into the fears and dismantle the belief systems, most people will find that they actually believe that life is beautiful, anything is possible, and as JFK once said “the only thing to fear is fear itself”. I have found that the discovering of fears, beliefs and control systems is a process. I know my inherent truths, but I learned to live by them and trust them over time. You are teaching yourself, gradually and consistently, to let go of the chains that bind you. But all along this process, you are also developing a strong foundation of self-love. The closer you are to living unhindered by the opinions of others, and aligned to your own truths, the easier it is to fall in love with yourself.
And, the more you genuinely you love who you are, the less you will see anything but love in the reflection in the mirror. Self-love is the internal vibration that creates an outside reality of peace and joy. If you do encounter negativity or ridicule, though, it’s easier to know that this is not about you, it’s about them. Send them unconditional love and move on. That is for them to work through, not you.
So, consider breaking down the box of fears and beliefs – the need for approval – that prevent you from a life filled with the expression of your soul. And, claim the inherent freedom that you have to choose your focus, and how you receive the words and actions of others.
If someone else is reflecting negativity or divisiveness…if they are attempting to relegate you to smallness…remember that only people in pain intentionally create separation and hurt…send them love energetically if you can…but whatever you do, do not own, take in and become the darkness that they are hurling at you. They are lost Gods. And, eventually, as with all of humanity, all souls, they will find their way home. Anchor the vibration of Love, so they have a lighthouse to follow on their journey back.
Whatever they said or did, doesn’t MATTER…choose that. Choose Love.