Hitting the reset button 

The universe is fundamentally neutral until we give it meaning.  All of the meaning assigned by us is based upon our memory of the past.  We take this memory and unconsciously use and project it onto the present or future.  And although you may believe that this prepares you for and facilitates your interactions, it actually creates the same situation over and over again. The primary catalyst for repetitive communications that you don’t prefer, such as discussions with your children, spouse, friend or coworker which always leads to an argument or uncomfortable feelings, is our unconscious habit of projecting built-in meaning to the situation.  And, the key to resolving this pattern is allowing all relationships to be neutral.  I like to think of it as hitting the reset button.

The KEY is to practice neutrality. So, it’s using your imagination to create the feeling inside as if you have never even met the people with whom you relate on a daily basis.  Imagine that they are someone you would see walking along the street.  You don’t know them to say, be or do anything in particular. And, their reaction to you is equally irrelevant, because in truth it is. YOU are the one who assigns their reaction with meaning.

So, if you are anticipating a difficult discussion with someone, or even if you are in the middle of an uncomfortable situation, bring in the neutrality. If you need to communicate something, don’t anticipate a negative response. This person is a stranger, so you have no idea what they are thinking. Communicate whatever it is as if you are saying “it’s a sunny day and the sky is blue”, with no emotional charge. If the person has a negative response, then don’t take it personally. Their reaction is not relevant to you. And many times, the first few interactions present more of the same because it’s based upon residual energy that hasn’t yet been cleared. But, stay with the neutrality on a consistent basis. Allow it to be whatever it is. And, when you accept and allow in neutrality, you will very quickly observe the “same old” patterns dissipate from your life.

As with everything I write about, I experienced this dynamic and used this technique to shift these patterns in my life.  I grew tired of the “I-think-that-I-am-living-in-the-movie-ground-hog-day” scenarios and learned how to work with the energy to transform how I am relating with others. Remember, don’t be discouraged if you see more-of-the-same the first few times you practice this.  Our relationships have so much built-in meaning that it often takes some time to clear the old to make way for the new.  And, if you make it a practice, you will eventually see the whole dynamic disappear. It works. With everyone. Neutrality.  Hit the reset button.