If I were asked to identify the most essential catalyst behind the profound transformation I have seen in my life from confusion to joy, I would point to falling in love with myself.
I advocate for all of humanity to do so.
Falling in love with yourself, although at first may appear to be a daunting task, becomes a practice based in ease and comfort. These emotions are rooted in the idea of honoring yourself in each and every interaction. And, after the initial hurdle of “how in heck do I even begin to do this?”, you quickly move forward in anticipation of more. More Love of and for yourself. This practice is not coming from the perspective of selfishness or narcissism, as you are not conditioning anyone else to create that feeling of love for you. On the contrary, you are giving the love to yourself, and therefore accepting and honoring all others’ needs as equally valid. The practice of falling in love with yourself empowers you to relinquish the desire for anyone to do, be or say anything for you to feel at peace.
Your relationships flourish because this practice inherently facilitates and requires self-love, self-awareness and self-responsibility.
Self-Love: This might be an obvious component of falling in love with yourself but I could write an entire book on just this topic, alone. I have written other posts on this concept, but the main idea is to recognize your inherent and essential worth within and as a part of creation.
Self- Awareness: In order to fall in love with yourself, you also need to know who you are. You require self-awareness. You need to observe yourself and your interactions with others to know if you have wounds that need healing, if there are belief systems you hold which need relinquishing and if you engage in repetitive thoughts or behaviors which limit your joy. And because all of us have “baggage” of one kind or another , as it is the nature of being a human on earth, forgive yourself for what you see as “flaws” and replace that which you do not prefer with new, more supportive ideas. This does not need to be a process of shame or lack, but rather more akin to a snake shedding its skin for a healthier one. No judgement. It’s just time for a change.
Self-Responsibility: This process also requires your understanding that you are responsible for your happiness, or wholeness, as well as all other aspects in your life. It is the basis for the idea that you create your reality. And, at the same time, you understand that it is not your job to create joy within others. These loving boundaries encourage all involved to embrace the understanding and the importance of finding the joy they desire within themselves. From this standpoint, everyone is coming together as whole and complete beings united in the love that they find within first.
Falling in love with yourself provides an unshakeable foundation for all relationships and interactions, regardless of where anyone else is on their journey to wholeness. Even if you have a relationship whereby the other person is attempting to project onto you their own wounds or lack, because you have embraced your own inner worth, their attempt at criticism does not affect you. You are impervious to these projections in the knowing that no matter what anyone else proclaims, you recognize that it is not even relevant to you and therefore it requires no defense. For example, if you are wearing a blue shirt, and someone tells you that you are wearing a yellow shirt, you wouldn’t feel the need to defend or convince them otherwise. If you know the shirt is blue, it has no relevance to you what other people say. Who cares? When you know something as truth, there isn’t a need to prove someone is wrong, because it just is. So, as you learn to love yourself and feel at peace with who you are, you find a diminishing desire to defend, manipulate or prove who or what you are. You just are…whole, complete, worthy, enough.
Although I do not believe that the journey of falling in love with yourself is finite in any capacity, you will begin to see the benefits in your life almost immediately. The process provides infinite transformation potentials in your health, relationships, and overall state of being. So go within and explore and understand who YOU are, not the person that you have created yourself to be by default. I think that you will be surprised by who and what you find….