It had been kind of a rough morning.
Izzy, my youngest child, and I were wrapping up the morning routine.
I let out an unconscious sigh as I placed the sandwich gently in her lunchbox.
And I heard Izzy say in a sarcastic and mocking tone, “How can I shift my perspective to create a different reality? All that I have to do is choose it.”
The words weren’t meant for me. She said them as if they weren’t supposed to be heard by anyone. But they just came out. It was pure ego.
Two thoughts struck me in that moment:
- Izzy is nine and already using the tools. Yes, I talk about this all the time. But she is actually hearing me and practicing the concepts of emotional mastery. When you start integrating these tools into your life at a young age — well, I just feel giddy thinking about that kind of potential.
- Izzy’s sarcasm is a typical aspect of learning to master your emotions. Her tone is what I often hear myself thinking when I am struggling to get back to center and emotional sovereignty. The process of ego integration, emotional mastery and alchemy is just that — a process — your ego is going to pitch a fit once in a while.
Izzy had obviously been feeling the energy of annoyance herself and was working through how to come back to truth. To the truth that every moment is an opportunity to choose your state of being. And the truth that human sovereignty means deciding the thought, perspective and emotion you want to experience in each moment regardless of what occurs and the environment around you.
The shift from being a slave to your thought, perspective and emotion to becoming an empowered human who actively chooses their experience will wreak some havoc on your ego.
Your ego — your personality construct which has created habits and methods of navigating reality to keep you feeling safe, protected and in control — sees this change as antithetical to the way things “should be done”. And rightly so, it’s been doing a job for you for countless years using one very clear method and now you’re flipping the script.
Learning to become emotionally sovereign is a 180 degree turn from everything you have learned for as long as you can remember about life, survival and success.
Does it make sense that we have been doing this backwards, and now we need to change the way we see, interact and understand the world?
No, I wouldn’t call it logical.
But that’s how expansion works. We have to experience what we don’t prefer to learn what we do prefer. Otherwise said, we have to do things the hard way so that we can understand the true value of the simple way.
Your ego will come up with every excuse in the book for why the path of emotional mastery is a failed solution. It will speak silent words to you as you walk the path to freedom. It will kick up a storm in hopes of preventing you from moving forward:
- This will not work. Thoughts are not things. Go back to directing your life the old way through external control.
- Choosing thought, perspective and emotion is just not powerful enough to get you where you need to be. Go back to what you know. It may be arduous and ineffective, but it’s familiar, comfortable and safe.
- Why are you doing this? You have been trying and nothing is changing? Stop. This is ridiculous.
- Don’t look at the old emotions and stories which are holding you back. It’s going to hurt too much.
- Don’t let that person speak to you that way. Forget not letting anything external dictate your state of being. Scream right back at them. Let them have it or they will think you are weak.
And this is only a fraction of what the ego will come up with to convince you to give up on the path of mastery. Your ego has a vested interest in keeping life the same, on ignoring the aspects of you which need to be healed and holding onto a false sense of control.
So, when the ego gets skittish and annoyed call a flag on the play. Take a step back and anchor yourself in truth.
Although it may seem that you and your ego are not playing for the same team, the truth is it’s a necessary aspect of self in the physical world.
It’s there to help you.
The difficulty is the ego has taken on too many burdens, would like to keep you stuck in pain and wallowing in misery — because it’s safe and and needs to be guided and gently redirected to the path of emotional sovereignty.
But you need to work with that part of yourself which is dragging its heels. Massage the ego to get into the game of mastering freedom.
The other morning, after Izzy’s comments, I let her know that I also have moments when I feel annoyed by the process of choosing my perspective and guiding my life from within — especially when I am in the middle of challenging moments, overwhelming sadness or aggravation.
And I explained to her when that occurs, I call a flag on the play. And, I take a step back and speak to my ego. I thank it for all of its protection so far, but let it know that I’ve found a new way to manage my experience, and that I can take it from here.
Does it seem ridiculous that I am speaking to another part of my self as though it is separate? It did at first. But it worked, so it didn’t matter to me, and I found out that we do have various aspects of the one self.
So, I let Izzy know that I use those moments to build the muscle of choice — choice of perspective, thought and focus —and I pull myself up one rung closer to being the sole master of my experience and life.
Her response: “Yes, yes, whatever mom…I’ve gotta get to school.”
But I know that she heard me….