We all come in with an ego identity which accompanies our soul on this life journey. Although you may feel like there is only one “you”, just like reality itself, it is more complex than that. In the process of gaining self-awareness, which many times begins because various life events occur and trigger the need to understand your purpose in this world or in an attempt to find answers, you gradually begin to align more with your soul. You begin to hear whispers of clarity amid and amongst the chaos.
However, the ego aspect of yourself, which can also be viewed as your personality structure, is utterly confused. Bear with me because if you haven’t had this understanding yet, then you may ask yourself, “which ‘me’ are you talking about? I thought that there was only one ‘me’?”. And while that is a valid perspective, it is also true that we exist as multiple components of self all operating on behalf of and as one being.
For the purpose of this post, the two main components involved are your soul or essence, which inhabits and provides consciousness to your physical body, and your ego, which also could be thought of as your personality structure. The ego’s role or job is to protect you. Period. And it’s a job that it takes very seriously.
For example, when you were shamed in the past, your ego may have come up with the coping mechanism of shutting down and turning the pain inward or becoming angry and energetically projecting your hurt on others. Or, your ego could have come to the conclusion that you could only be happy if you made everyone else happy first, therefore creating the persona of an enabler. And the list goes on. The ego creates many different patterns of behavior to adjust, cope and survive any outside stimuli encountered from birth onward. Sad, angry, scared, ashamed, jealous, confused, depressed etc…..each of these states of beings created its own identity within you, accompanied by a reaction and/or pattern of behavior. A great visual of this can be seen in the movie, “Inside Out”, where each state of being exists in the control tower monitoring your life and pulling the levers based on every and all interactions. And, many of these ego identities can be traced back to and were formed during childhood, so they can also be thought of as your “inner child”. However, there are many components or identities under the umbrella of the inner child….so you have inner children! All states of being, usually rooted in fear, based upon your experience and with the understanding that it’s the ego’s job to protect you.
So, at some point, you begin to align with your soul and gradually learn that all states of fear are based upon a previous conclusion that you need to behave in a certain way to survive in this world. In the past, especially as a child, you encountered many situations where that in fact was your reality. However, as you continue to foster your relationship to your soul and find that everything you need is within you, that you are an eternal, infinite being, and that YOU create your reality by your thoughts, belief systems and state of being, you slowly realize that there isn’t anything to fear. You recognize that the only person that needs to approve of you is you. You celebrate that YOU can give yourself love, compassion, understanding and forgiveness. The revelation that nothing, and I do mean nothing, outside of yourself is needed to complete you frees you from your self-imposed prison. You are complete. You are free. You are love.
This is all good news. However, now you must get your ego up-to-speed on the changes that have occurred in your awareness. Because, again, even though you are consciously aligning with your soul, you have an entire entourage within you poised and ready for action upon any perceived threat to your existence. So, you encounter something that would normally have you in a state of fear, for example, and you want to use what you have learned to navigate the situation from the point of view of your soul, but your ego or inner child aspect of fear has different ideas entirely. The conversation goes somewhat like this:
Ego/Inner Child/Fear: “What the what!? What are you doing!!!! You are steering us toward annihilation!”
Soul: “We are infinite and eternal and nothing can harm us now.”
Ego/Inner Child/Fear: “I don’t know anything about infinite or eternal, but what I do know is that we should be in panic mode at the moment and then act accordingly.”
So, you are literally and figuratively split. Truly. And the ego aspect of you wants to take the reigns. It kicks into overdrive and it’s difficult to move forward with any clarity. The voice of your soul is drowned out by the all of the noise. So, the finesse comes in at this point, and at each moment, when you find yourself in this state of inner conflict. The way that I have found to be the most effective in moving through this could be called a form of “ego negotiation”.
Your ego needs to be assured each and every time you move away from your “old reactions” and towards the knowing of your soul. It helps to think of your ego as a friend and confidante, who loyally protected you all of your life. It is literally an inner conversation, whereby your soul reassures your ego. This is an example of how it might go:
Soul: “Fear, I know that you are confused and concerned about my change in perspective.”
Ego: “Yes, I am. What’s going on?”
Soul: “First of all, I love you and I want to thank you for taking such good care of me. I am very grateful.”
Ego: “No problem, that’s my job!”
Soul: “However, now I am asking you to trust me. I have learned that I am much more powerful than I originally thought, and I don’t have to live in fear anymore. If you trust my new approach, I can promise you that I will not lead you to our death, but rather we will find a new life that is safe, peaceful and joy-filled.”
Ego: “Well, okay, I will trust you. Just take it slow and easy.”
Soul: “I will. Thank you and I love you.”
And, that sounds very simple and maybe even counterintuitive, but if you skip that step, your ego really struggles to adapt to this new way of being. If you take the time to inform and befriend your ego – even if you feel silly speaking to yourself – it energetically clears a path for you to move forward with ease.
This process is essential and can be viewed through the lens of guiding yourself towards emotional maturity. You are literally growing yourself up emotionally. It feels so liberating because you find that you are not as likely to react irrationally in the moment. You take back your power through the knowledge, that whatever is occurring, can be handled with clarity, grace, ease, and your newly acquired emotional maturity!!! There is nothing to fear!