My thirteen year-old son, Will, had his first day of football practice last Monday.
And that morning, he woke up with a sore throat and a low grade temperature.
He anxiously paced the kitchen. I could see the worry brewing in him. Will is just one of those kids that can analyze a topic to the point of his own distraction.
I could see his “monkey mind” taking over. The egoic structure that bases all future scenarios in what we have experienced in the past was in charge. The questions and answers steeped in the fear of the ego, lingered over and around him. A vortex of doom was building momentum – preventing him from seeing the truth and wholeness that always is – Will had entered into the storm zone of the ego, and raindrops of fear began to fall.
I watched as the winds of confusion formed the words dancing across Will’s cerebral cortex, shutting down the voice of his intuition and playing games with his life. The soundless questions and answers sounded like this:
“This is my first day of football practice. Everything depends on this day and this practice. What if I have a sore throat and it ends up being strep? And, then if it’s strep throat, I could miss the first week or two of practice. And, if I miss the first week of practice, maybe I won’t be a “starting player” because I will miss my most important chance to prove myself. And, if I am not starting, then I wont’t have a successful football career. Maybe I will want to be a pro football player…but I won’t be able to because I have a sore throat, possibly strep, today. And then, my whole life will be a failure. And I will live in a shack somewhere in “no man’s land” with no friends and no life. All because I have a sore throat. Why does everything go wrong for me? Why me?”
Am I exaggerating to make a point? Yes.
However, I am not exaggerating by much. These are the silent conversations that occur within almost all of us. We speak ourselves into disaster many times with little to no evidence of the situation we fear actually coming to fruition. Our ego loves to create extraordinarily horrific projections based upon a past experience with very little relevance to the current scenario, an exponential exaggeration of the potential outcome and escalated well beyond the actual likelihood of it playing out in exactly that fashion. Most importantly, if the ego aspect of us is left to its devices, it will completely negate our innate ability to create our reality by the perspective we choose – the lense, or perspective and focus, by which we choose to view our world, which is our primary point of power…being in the moment without regret of the past or projection of the future…that is where you own your world and all of its potential.
So, I thought for a moment. I have spoken to to Will, and all of my children, about “what you put out is what you get back” and our “energetic bubble of reality”. And I made some progress, but these concepts take time and he is only thirteen. I usually offer my truths as a choice but not mandatory….sometimes they hear me, sometimes they don’t.
But in this moment, Will actually asked me….he felt desperate…and many times, we need to feel desperate to open up to trying something new…
Will: “Mom, I don’t know what I believe…I’m not sure if I believe you when you say ‘that we create our reality’….but what I am trying right now isn’t working (yes, he really said that)…so, I guess that I will try what you believe…tell me what to do…what do I do?”
And so it began. (Yay!)
Me: “Okay, so as I have said before we exist in an energetic bubble that radiates from us. The bubble’s energy is made up of your beliefs, how you choose to feel in each moment, and what you choose to focus on.”
Will: “So, I should say to myself ‘I want to be healthy, I want to be healthy, I want to be healthy’?”
Me: “Er, no….your reality is a mirror…so that would mean that you would experience always being sick and wanting to be healthy.”
Will: “Okay, how about I will say, ‘I am not sick, I am not sick, I am not sick’?”
Me: “No….energy doesn’t hear “No or not”…focus on what you are, not what you aren’t……it’s very literal….it’s all about choosing your focus…..ugh…let me think of something that will help you better understand.”
I knew that this was an important opportunity for both of us. Will was actually ASKING me how to create his reality. I really needed to make an impression. Something that would help him “get” the concept and that he would not easily forget. But what was that? What do thirteen year old boys think are funny?
Me (again): “Okay, I got it!……Your reality is LITERALLY a mirror, right…so, pretend that you really want to create a reality where all that you experience is farts….(did I really just say that? Yes I did.)”
Will: “What! Mom, you are crazy!” (Not the first time that I heard that.)
Me: “So, you love farts…you think about them, you talk about them, you imagine them, you play the ‘fart app’ on your phone, you immerse yourself in the world of farts….again, your world is a mirror, you get what you focus on…pretty soon, all that you experience will be farts….”
Will: “Mom! You really are crazy!” (He says through a big smile and a little laughing.)
Me: “Yes, but you won’t forget the concept now, right?”
Will: “Good point…”
Me: “So, I would just go general for now…something like, ‘Everything is always working out for me’. Oh, and, remember that all of your power is in the present moment, if you are regretting the past or projecting into the future, you give away your power. Everything happens now.”
Will: “Yep, got it! Everything is always working out for me!”
And he did…something clicked…
And then I reminded him not to judge himself or others. Always be kind. I’m not sure how much more Will heard at that point with all of the giggling that still was going on (his sisters joined in on the humorous exchange, drawn in by the silliness of it all). But he got it. And I watched him for the next few days enjoy the miracles that unfolded with his new perspective.
His sore throat was a distant memory and football practice was a great success. Of course, this will be an ongoing process. And, I must live this truth by example, for my own highest outcome and because that is a parent’s most powerful tool.
But, the journey of creating a life filled with joy through the power of Love has begun for Will. And I couldn’t be more grateful.