I had an epiphany over the past couple of days that it doesn’t matter who reads my posts. It doesn’t matter how many views, likes or comments I receive. It doesn’t matter if what I express resonates with another human being on the planet.
You see, most of my adult life has been moving myself toward what I perceived success looked like. I don’t really even know why. Not even sure who I was trying to please. Myself? My family? My peers? Society at large? I just jumped on what I thought was the success express because I surmised “that’s what I was supposed to do” and “being successful at life seemed to be a goal most people focused on” and “successful looked happy”.
But when I had achieved most of what I personally deemed as success, I felt suffocated. I felt stuck. And I didn’t know what “happy” meant.
So, believing that there was something more, I followed the breadcrumbs towards receiving more joy every day without the parameters or rule book. I read and listened and pondered and discussed and listened and read some more. I pushed through judgement from others who thought that I may have joined a cult or lost my mind, only to ultimately realize that it was me judging myself for stepping out into the great unknown. What would be the consequences of choosing the path less followed? What would people think and say about me? Am I losing my mind?
All judgements of myself that, when I accepted them as my truth, regardless of the opinion of others, began to transform the reflection on the outside. I was following this path of self-discovery in pure love for myself and the belief that I must do so, whether or not I ever received anyone’s approval, recognition or validation. The quest was to know and love myself and eventually I realized that this is a journey done alone, and without the need for anyone outside of myself approving of it.
So, when I began this blog to express my truth and journey thus far in hopes of providing wisdom through my own experience, I would check to see my views, likes, visitors etc. All the stats. And I felt slightly disheartened at the results. But then I realized that I had lost the main purpose of the journey in the first place. When anyone, including myself, speaks their truth or expresses their unique authenticity without the certainty of how it will be received but rather from pure love of self, the whole of humanity is changed. We are one. There is no separation.
What holds us back from evolution is waiting to be accepted for authentic choices and love of self BEFORE we are willing to take a chance on our expression. Be yourself because that’s what brings you joy. Be yourself because that is who you are. Be yourself because it is choosing yourself first over anyone else. That’s a love so pure that it changes the landscape of existence.
I recognize that you don’t see a great deal of that in the world right now – pure expression of self – because the need for acceptance pulls us back into the ocean of anonymity, safety, sameness.
But, I believe humanity as moved past the cookie cutter, imitation of others game we have played for a long time. The seeds of change have been planted.
And, there isn’t a single person on earth right now that isn’t an equally valid aspect of creation and as such an equally valid contributor to this shift in consciousness that we are undergoing. So if you do those calculations we should have about 7 billion unique expressions out there coloring and gracing the world with their “God” self. Whether we shout out truth from the rooftops or just live quietly aligned with it, I revel in the idea of being on a planet with the richness of that kind of expression and love.
So, I now write, post and blog with the knowing that this is me, expressing my joy, taking the risk, loving myself and knowing that this vibration alone enhances my own path, as well as all of humanity. I believe, that if we all find the courage to be the unique expression of our individual soul, and broadcast it to the world in our own way, big or small, we are most certainly heading in the right direction for humanity’s highest joy.