This is where all the magic happens.
This is what we do. Without thinking — in a state of autopilot — we leave unresolved pain lingering in the past and hopes of joy always just out of reach in our future.
Meditation brought this to my attention in a very real way.
Recently some changes in my life created a wobble in my ability to choose my thoughts and emotions.
What I had come to see as a solid foundation in my life — a well-toned muscle of choice — had become shaky, unsteady and sometimes not even an option.
I was sick inside for the first time in years.
And I was scared.
I can’t remember the last time I had actually felt that kind of fear.
I felt like a human snow globe. As if someone had shaken me and I just couldn’t get the snow to settle.
The negative ego screamed at me:
“What if you never regain your ability to choose?!”
And the pure wisdom — the still, subtle quiet voice within gently responded:
“You know that this isn’t possible. Nothing has changed. You are just healing on a deeper level. Go within.”
I knew that I had a new layer of fear and even shame to heal and release and that this would involve mind, body and breath. So I chose to begin a daily transcendental meditation practice to break through the layer of fear and reconnect with choice.
When my mantra was replaced by repetitive, circular thought patterns, I noticed a common thread as to what derailed me from the “now” moment.
When I fell out of that sometimes illusive present moment — I observed myself deliberating regret of past actions or performing mental gymnastics about how I would receive peace, joy, love and abundance in a future time frame.
It looked like this:
OM, MANI, PADME, HUM
OM, MANI, PADME, HUM
OM, MANI, PADME, HUM
Interject repetitive thoughts involving what I need to do in my future or what I did or didn’t do in my past.
Realization that I had dropped the present moment.
Back to the mantra.
OM, MANI, PADME, HUM
OM, MANI, PADME, HUM
OM, MANI, PADME, HUM
Realization: What holds you back is your self-limiting belief systems about where you’re going and where you’ve been.
This is the time stamp of the present moment. And this is where all of your power is.
This is the fingerprint for our creation in each moment.
But what if each present moment is filled with regret and longing?
We, in our experience of being human, have had a habit of hiding our pain in the past and our joy in the future.
And, this combination limits us. It restricts us. It tethers us to the same situation over and over again. And it takes conscious creation itself off the table.
The trouble with this state of being is it’s a feedback loop that keeps us trapped in a circular experience which more often than not we would love to escape.
But we don’t know how.
And we don’t know why we continue to participate in the same situations — possibly with different people or circumstances — but similar in the themes of disempowerment and limitation.
Our future changes when we clear ourselves in the present moment of the belief systems which hold us back.

If you would like to be a conscious creator of your life, it’s vital that you begin to examine and clear the clutter from the present moment so that can use that window of opportunity.